when i was little i wanted to be a ballet dancer, but i was too short. and i wanted to be like those skinny , tall girls in the fashion mags with the long , straight hair, and the intense russian wolfhound faces, but i had crazy, wild curly hair (which wasn't cool then) and i looked more like a friendly beagle puppy, and ..i was too short. and then i got accepted into art school and i wore long ,black eyelashes and a big black beret, and carried a black portfolio and the business men reading their newspapers on the way to work on the train, tried desperately not to look at me..cause my maxi coat was so long and i was so short.
as i write this, i'm sitting in my studio ,and thinking about how lucky i've been to make my living as an artist. it's never been much of a living, but i've always worked in my field and i know that's a priviledge. i've had some strange jobs, and some great ones, but every time i pick up a pencil, i have a rush of joy! to "see" something in my head, in its finished form and chase it from my brain to my hand, thrills me beyond words..and when that design is captured just the way i want it on the page, it amazes me ..always. today, someone bought one of my prints and it was the most extraordinary feeling..the idea that something i created moved them to a point of wanting it to be a part of their life blows my mind..it makes me feel like i'm real..because as each of you that create understand..no matter how good it is, no matter how much we love that finished piece, we never believe that it's good enough, or that the next sale is coming..so tonite i will allow myself to feel like a professional and tell myself that i am good at what i do, and i will believe in my creativity..until the next time that i feel short.