Saturday, August 29, 2009

in the time we have

it's so easy to forget that every day we are given is a gift. i didn't always know this. it took the sudden death of my husband ten years ago to realize that nothing is guaranteed. i was determined to learn something or feel that his loss wouldn't be in vain...and what i learned was positive and important. the fragility of life , the ordinary, extraordinary, awesome, insanity of this getting thru the week existance, where we wish away our days just getting to the weekend? STOP wishing the days away.

every day is important, whether you think it is or might be a great day filled with accomplishments or a little day filled with annoyances and pissed off moods and people cutting you off in traffic, and lines at the bank..BUT! it's your day and one that you shouldn't take for granted.

we have this life to live..some people think we get to go around more than once, some think it's for eternity, some think it's our only matter what you's yours!! use it with joy! treat it like a precious child! get it dirty!! use all of it every day!!

my sons are unique for having lived thru the loss of their father and best friend and champion, and coming thru with courage and determination..each of them learned to appreciate life because their father died.. and they do it with character, having grown into men that their father would have been proud of..i consider them friends as well as my sons..they nurture me and encourage me and inspire me to be a better person....they create , they write , they love , and look toward the future instead of being crippled by the youngest, ben, made a list after his dad died..he called it a "life list" and he put on it the things he wanted to accomplish.he has become an incredible artist and brilliant humourist.and in these ten years he has accomplished many of those things..he doesn't see obstacles..only amazes me! and josh, my oldest, a teacher and mentor to the kids he reaches, has found a way to speak from his heart in the words he beautiful and strong as a tropical get swept up in the emotion of his writing..and carried out to sea.

these two men, make me live in the moment..they remind me that every day is, has, the possibility to be the best day of your life.

it isn't all about the money, the glory, the fame or the promise of these things..*(although they definitely make it easier, i know..) it's about the beauty of something you've seen every day and taken for granted, but looking at it a new way.. one morning, not long after pete died..i was lost in sadness, looking out the kitchen window, thinking that i would never laugh again or want to had snowed the night before, and a cardinal flew down and landed on a branch covered with snow. the sheer beauty of it made me laugh out loud..and i felt as if someone had woken me from my sleep! i felt so alive, so glad to be alive that i cried and laughed at the same time..and it was just a bird on a branch, something i had seen a million times before..and it was a gift that i have thought about so many times since., please,enjoy your life, and be grateful for what you're probably far richer than you think you are, in so many ways.